Feelings are for chicks. Men are supposed to be stoic and stone-faced. Women nurture, men provide; at least that’s the stereo-type. I think that’s why some men get so intimidated by the thought of saying three one-syllable words. It betrays an emotional weakness; a chink in the armor. Or is that a stereotype too? I can’t keep track any more...but I can say “I love you.”
I’m an existentialist at heart. At the end of my life I want to know that I lived the best life I could. Part of that includes being certain that those I loved knew it…and that means telling them. I decided long ago that I would never let an opportunity go by. When I think it, I find a way to communicate it, immediately.
I tell my kids that I love them, and I tell my wife that I love her. I also tell my kids that I love their mother, and my wife that I love our kids. As they were growing up, I often made a point to say to them (with my wife in the room) “Kids, do you know I love your Mom?” I got yeses from them and a sweet smile from her every time. Well...until they were teens, at which point I got eye-rolls and a sweet smile. Either way, the point was made.
In our house, we begin and end every day with these three words. Every separation, no matter how short or long, is bookended with these words. We never miss an opportunity.
A dozen or so years ago, when my son was about 8, I was playing in a basketball league. He had come to watch my game, but had to leave part-way through. I was sitting on the team bench and he was across the court from me, in the spectator section. Above the crowd noise, booming echoes, pounding basketball, sneaker-squeaks, grunts and man-sweat….above it all….I heard him yell “I love you Dad!” as he turned to leave. Without a doubt, the whole gym heard him too.
A teammate grinned at me and said “That’s what it’s all about right there.” Fist bump.
It don’t get any manlier than that.
yes, Aaron is VERY good about saying those three important words. I hear them at least 10 times a day, and love it each time. There is no mistaking that our family loves each other because we make it a point to say it and say it often. Even in a crowded room ;o)
ReplyDeleteyou are the MAN! it is so good to hear other dads are like my own as well as the dad to my kids....Kathy and kiddos are blessed to have you. we use these words often, but I know they have sunk into my kids when they are with their friends and we "the parents" are kicking around and they with out any hesitation say those magical words that have their friends standing there with a funny look on theirs faces like "What did you just say?" and my kids look back at them like....whats the big deal???? LOVE IT! thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteKathy and I are very lucky we got the best two men in the world. You two are a lot a like that way. I love it when Weldon says "I love you" and he says it a lot!
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