Adoption Option: Placement

There's an ache that's missing today

There's an emptiness that's been filled

There's a cloud that's lifting and drifting away

There's a ragin' storm that's been stilled

There's a joy that's real

There's a wound that's finally healed

There's a future replacing a past

There's a breath of new life in the cast

Words and music by Michael McLean

It is so hard for me to write about these things without tears flowing down my cheeks.  These memories are so dear to my heart, and the emotions are overwhelming at times.  I wanted to share the above lyrics because music is a big part of my life and I think it can touch the heart in ways that normal everyday conversation cannot.

This picture was taken the moment our birthmother lovingly kissed her baby  goodbye and placed her in my arms.  Why did she do this?  She did not do it for herself.  She chose adoption because she felt unprepared to give her baby the life she wanted for her. In placing her for adoption with us, she was giving her baby a better life.  She made this choice unselfishly.

After our daughter was released form the hospital, we went to the adoption agency to have an official placement with the birth family.  This was another experience with many emotions that we had never felt before, and many that we didn't expect or understand.

                       

We drove the baby to the agency and then left her there with the birth family for an hour so they could have their time with her to say goodbye. We came back to find them all in good spirits.  We sat and talked with them for a while and then we exchanged some gifts.  They were so kind and loving toward us.  We took a lot of pictures and hugged each other and the baby a lot.  It was a really good experience for my husband and I. 

                          

When it was time to go, my husband and I stood at the door with this sweet baby girl in our arms.  One by one each of the family members came and kissed her goodbye as they left.  I never knew a person could feel so much happiness and so much pain at the same time.  While we felt so happy and blessed to have this beautiful gift and miracle, it was a time of grieving for the birth family.  We had fallen in love with them on this journey, so we cared very much about the way they were feeling.

We drove away from the agency with our brand new baby girl.  We went straight to my sister-in-law's house where we would stay for the next few days.  Since our baby was born in a different state than the state we live in, we had to wait for some things to clear before we could go home.  We had a very enjoyable time there enjoying our daughter with out the cares of housework and cooking. Then we got the call that we could go home.

                           

                           

It has been almost 3 years since that day.  Most if the time I think our daughter has been more of a blessing in our lives than we have been in hers.  She has taught me more about myself than anything in life ever has.  I have more love for my husband and daughter than anyone should be allowed.