Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Quantity over Quality

I had a great evening yesterday. I didn't do anything grand, go anywhere special or spend any money: I went for a walk.

Sometimes it's the simplest things in life that bring us the most joy. Seeing your child smile, eating an ice cream cone on a hot day or walking hand in hand with your hubby lost in great conversation.

Aaron and I are firm believers in quantity over quality. As a matter of face, Aaron wrote a whole Man Cave post on it, "Busting The 'Quality Time' Myth" in raising kids. The same can be said for having a strong marriage. You can never pick those moments: you know the ones, where you feel closer to each other than you ever thought possible, where you are so lost in the moment you can't imagine being anywhere else, a forever memory moment. You never know when they are going to happen because they are not something you can plan.

My To List

1. Make the Bed
2. Vacuum the Foor
3. Take the kids to school
4. Cook Dinner
5. Create a lifelong memory with my husband

Wow. If only it were that easy. Unfortunately those moments just happen, unplanned and unforced. Ever see the movie "Groundhogs Day"? On the one night Bill Murry finally has his moment with Andy McDowell, it's magical and for one brief moment they are totally lost in each other. Of course, he wakes up the next morning and the day has started all over again.  He tries desperately to recreate that moment, doing everything he did the day before, but it just isn't working. It's forced, she senses something isn't right and she actually ends up mad at him. You cannot force the moment.

That is why it is so important to spend a lot of time together. Quantity: Because, amongst the quantity you will sometimes have quality. The more time you spend together, the more opportunity you provide yourselves to have that one special moment. Aaron and I have gone on literally thousands of walks together. Each one is nice: outside, together and getting a little extra exercise. Sometimes though, one of those walks ends up being just a little more special than the rest; just a little better of a conversation; just a little more bonding than the others. Unplanned; unforced.

Spend a lot of time together. It doesn't have to be fancy, expensive or elaborate. Just be together. Go for a walk, cook dinner together, sit in a sunny spot and just talk: the point is, just be together. Amongst the quantity you will get quality. 

picture taken by Ian Barber

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