A few months ago I heard a guy giving a speech to a bunch of incoming college freshmen. (I don't remember his name, or I would give credit.) Most of his talk was about relationships. A lot of it was good stuff, and a lot of it was the incoming-Freshan-type-blather, but there was one thing that stuck in my mind.
Check it out.
During his speech the guy talked about the popular romantic idea of finding a mate that "completes" you, and called it a bunch of hoo-haa. After listening to him explain himself, I had to agree with him.
The self-notion that you are somehow incomplete as an individual is a disheartening one. It implies that your capability to be happy and live a fulfilling life are somehow diminished unless some missing component is added. No one should have to depend on another person for their self-worth and happiness.
What you really want to find is someone that compliments you; a person whose own strengths magnify all that is good about you.
Besides, "incomplete" is not a very attractive quality in a potential mate.
* photo by s~revenge
An article I read talked about the same thing. They also said that in order to make someone else happy you have to be happy about yourself first. Its true your significant other shouldn't be the one to make you happy. They should make you happier.
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