Monday, February 28, 2011

What Is Wrong With My Brain?

Please tell me I am not the only one who has felt this way ladies! You have had a really busy day chasing after kids, getting the laundry done, being mother-helper in the classroom, and cooking dinner. There hasn't been time for anything else. After dinner your husband gets up, clears the table, and starts doing dishes. At this point you should feel grateful to that wonderful man for helping, but instead you feel...... guilt.


What is wrong with the way my brain functions? Are you kidding me? I would get upset at the fact that Aaron would get up and do the dishes or vacuum the floor. In my insane little mind it was him telling me I wasn't doing good enough. That he was saying "Well, if you aren't going to get these dishes done then I guess I'm gonna have to do them". Of course his intentions were pure, and I knew that, but that made it even more difficult to face the way I was feeling.

Many years ago, when I was a new mom, my grandmother gave me a book. I can't remember the title now, but I remember the sentiment: that each woman feels like she needs to be this "super woman" that can do everything. Boy howdy, that is what I felt like - which is probably the reason she gave me the book in the first place.

We get it in our heads that it's our job, and ours alone, to take care of the kids, clean the house, do the shopping, prepare the meals...and for most of us help provide income for the family as well. We don't want to be told that we can't accomplish all of this and we certainly don't want to be told we aren't doing a good enough job at it. This, of course, puts our husbands in an awkward position: to help or not to help.
I have since stopped the madness (most days) and am extremely grateful to have help. I know now that I am not an all encompassing super woman. That was a hard pill to swallow I can tell you, but I will admit now that I need help. One of the most amazing sounds to me now is the clank of dishes being done when I'm not the one doing them.

So, if you are in the same trap that I was, stop. Relax. Take a deep breath, and let your husband do the dishes. Enjoy the fact that you have a husband willing to help. That this does not reflect on your abilities as a wife and mother. He signed up for the madness too, so let him enjoy the responsibility of said madness along side you.

Please tell me I am not the only one who has had feelings like this. We need to reprogram our thinking ladies. It's a different world and we are not June Cleaver. You will never see me vacuuming the house in pumps and pearls with fresh out of the oven cookies waiting to greet each family member as they walk in the door. What they will walk in to however, is a sane mother who loves them and has done her best to make the family as functioning as possible - with dishes in the sink.

picture taken by Guide To Beauty

1 comment:

  1. I don't feel guilt when Weldon helps me, but it does feel a little weird. I agree that it's important to not try to take everything upon myself, but realize I have a great partner there to help me and I am there to help him.

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