Saturday, March 12, 2011

Adoption Option: Adoption Is A Miracle

A couple years after we adopted our daughter, we started thinking about adding another child to our family.  We had a lot of options to consider.  Do we want to adopt again? Or do we want to go back to the doctor and try the infertility treatments again?  My husband really wanted to try to have a biological child.  That was hard for me to be on board with because I had worked so hard to let that part of me go.

I really wanted to make my husband happy and of course I wanted to be happy too, so reluctantly, I agreed to go to a specialist.  It was a very good visit with the doctor, because he told us exactly why we haven't been able to have children.  That was nice to hear, but it complicated things for us a little more.  It also made me frustrated because all this time had past and no doctor had ever told us this.  But, the past is the past and we needed to make some decisions.

We found out there are two different things preventing me from getting pregnant.  I have a heart shaped uterus and I have polysistic ovarian syndrome (PCOS).  We had known about the heart shaped uterus, but had been told that it shouldn't cause us any problems. Wrong!  The specialist told us, if I ever did get pregnant, the embryo would be rubbed off before it could grow very long.  The good news is, there is a new minimally invasive surgery that can basically obliterate the middle part and take the uterus from being basically like two tunnels to nearly normal.  The bad news is, we had to come up with the money to pay for it.  Just our first doctor visit was very expensive, so we were really nervous about the cost of this. Plus, I would also have to take fertility treatments on top of that, because of the PCOS, which may or may not work.

We decided to start taking the steps to get the surgery done.  After a while, I just couldn't get myself to feel good about it.  I did not want to go through this. The medication that I had already started was making me very sick and it was hard to function.  It felt like a bit of a nightmare. We debated about what to do for a couple months when we came to the decision to hold off on things for a while.  I was relieved, but we still wanted to have another child. We had no idea what to do.

One day, my husband was at work cutting hair. Our daughter's birth grandfather walked into the barber shop to get a hair cut.  He asked my husband if I had gotten the surgery done yet or not.  My husband told him I had not, and that we were having a terrible time deciding what to do.  He then proceeded to tell my husband that our daughter's birthmother was pregnant again, and she had decided to place the baby for adoption with us!!  My husband was so shocked. But he said he was sure we would want to adopt this baby.

I was on vacation with my mom in Maine when I got the call from my husband. Needless to say, it was hard for me to get my mind wrapped around it.  I was so excited, yet my heart was breaking for our birthmother.  I couldn't imagine her having to experience this again.  It was in that moment on the phone with my husband, that everything from the last 6 months came together and made sense for us.  We knew this was our answer and that we really wanted this baby in our family! 

At that time the baby wasn't due to be born for another 6 or 7 months.  So, we had plenty of time to get ready and let this become real to us.  We had to get background checks and a home study done again.  There have been a lot of things during these last few months that have been very hard. It has been a roller coaster of emotions. I have learned even more about myself and how strong I can really be.  But now, everything is so great and we can't wait for our new baby to come home!

Near the beginning of our birthmother's pregnancy, she invited us to the ultrasound where we found out this baby is a girl!  We were so grateful that she decided to include us in that. It was so surreal standing in the corner of the ultrasound room looking at this healthy baby girl on the screen and seeing her move around. All while knowing she was going to be ours someday soon.  It was an experience I will never want to replace. 

Now, this baby girl will be born any day now! We are calmly yet anxiously waiting her arrival. This experience has taught me once again that God is so real and that he cares about our happiness and the happiness of our birthmother.  He has taken our hands, and led us down this path even when we didn't know he was doing it.  This adoption is another one of the many miracles we have experienced in our lives.  I have seen too much to ever deny the reality of these miracles.

1 comment:

  1. We are SO excited for the new baby to come. We are going to be on vacation when she is due, but I can't wait to come home and hear all about it!!