Adoption Option: Our Baby Girl Is Born!

We were counting the days until our new baby would join our family.  Every time the phone rang, both my husband and I would bolt to the phone and look at each other as if to say "This could be THE call."  We were getting very excited for the baby to be born.  Finally, on a Sunday morning we were getting ready to leave for church and we got the call!

The baby is on her way!  I thought this time would be easier than last time.  I knew what to expect, and I was determined not to let myself get all worked up in the suspense.  We had made arrangements to go and meet our baby for the first time when she was released from the hospital. We were completely fine with this and wanted the birthmother to have her time alone with the baby. But, that didn't make it easy.  We went to church and of course I cried and I'm sure everyone was wondering what my problem was. But, I didn't want to say much to anyone because we didn't know anything yet.  I kept thinking, "I wonder what is happening now?", "I hope everything is okay."  I wanted so much to feel a connection, but really I felt very distant from the whole thing.  Like even though it was in the very front of all my thoughts and emotions, the picture of her birth and what was happening at the hospital was tiny in the back of my mind and very hard to focus on.  Nevertheless, I decided to be stong and to be happy.  After all, these feelings were not foreign to me, I knew how and I could let them flow like a peacful river insead of a raging storm.

Soon after we got home from church, we recieved the call that she had been born!  She was 5lbs 6oz and 18in. long and she had a lot of hair. And most of all, she was completely healthy! We were overjoyed!  As expected, our first instinct was to run up to hospital and scoop her up in our arms. But, that was not to be and it was okay.  We would have the rest of our lives to enjoy her.  So, we anxiously waited for the next day to come, hoping that tomorrow would be the day we would get to bring her home. 

Moday morning we woke up very happy and excited.  About mid-morning, our birthmother called and asked us to come up to the hospital that afternoon and visit for an hour or so until she and the baby were released.  So, we got ready and later headed up to the hospital. 

We walked in to room to find the birthmother and her parents there holding the baby.  They handed me the baby and I was amazed at the beauty of this little girl.  She was so tiny!   I couldn't believe it.  It felt like a dream.  I said out loud that I couldn't believe this was real, and the birth grandfather said "Well, miracles do happen."  and I said. "Yes they do." I knew it was true.  Both my husband and I were beaming with happiness.  Our oldest daughter was also very excited to get the new baby and was jumping up and down in excitement almost the whole time we were there. 

 This picture was taken moments after we first met our new baby.  We sat and visited for a while and we hugged the birthmother and told her that she has made us very happy.  It was one of those moments were there are no words to be said and nothing to be done except take this dear baby into our family and love her with all our hearts.  And that, we have done.

The next day the birthmother and her parents came over for a visit and an official placement.  She looked so good and very happy and that was more than comforting to us.  We had a great visit with them and exchanged some gifts.  We took lots of pictures and gave lots of hugs.  Before they left, our birthmother told us that she wanted us to know she is happy with her choice.  Hearing those words from her has given me more comfort and peace than anything else could have.

Over the last 3 years, we have grown to love our daughters' birthmother more than words could ever say.  My heart is so full of love and gratitude for this woman and she will always hold a special place in my heart that will never be replaced. She is an angel on earth, and a blessing that feels undeserved.

We are so happy that our family has grown though the grace of God and the unselfish choices of others.  We know these two girls are ours.  The way they came to us only makes our lives more full and has given us more opportunity for love. 

Michael McLean said it perfectly in his book of songs  'From God's Arms To My Arms To Yours' :

"When you think about it, adoption is as much a miracle as birth itself.  Maybe more so, when you consider that for everyone involved it starts from a place of impossible choices: nearly unbearable fear, haunting doubts, interspersed with glimpses of hope brought into partial focus only when seen through the lens of unselfishness.  And at the moment of heartbreaking courage, when a selfless choice is made, there are absolutely no guarantees...well, maybe one: that every conceivable outcome of the journey had been imagined in sleepless nights and endless days.  Still, in spite if all who would say it's beyond possibility that hope or joy or peace could be found, it is."