Friday, April 1, 2011

The Man Cave: Man Overboard

As loyal Family Strong followers already know, our family went on a cruise last week. After two cruises I can now say with surety that I'm not a huge fan. Too much fancy fluff. I don't need some guy laying my napkin in my lap for me. I don't want mints on my pillow and cute origami towel animals. Worst of all: "elegant night". Just shoot me. I did, however, manage to eke out a little manliness in the midst of all the estrogen. Here are my top five manly vacation moments from last week.

During our cruise I:

5. Drank some tequila. I am not a drinker. In fact, before this vacation I had never once tasted alcohol in my life. I just never had a reason, I guess. Well, touring a tequila factory and learning how it was made finally gave me a reason. I drank approximately one thimble full. Yowza. I think I could have run my lawn mower with that crap.

4. Shared a bed with my daughter's boyfriend. There were four of us on the trip: myself, Kathy, our daughter Jessica, and her boyfriend. Twice during the week we stayed in a hotel room whose only sleeping accommodations were two queen beds. Well...get your jammies on my friend, 'cause it looks like you and me are taking our relationship to the next level. We put a pillow between us to prevent any inadvertent nocturnal contact. Truth is, he was probably more excited to sleep with me than my daughter. It was sort of like a camp-out, but with fresh sheets.

3. Ate alligator.... and frog legs, and catfish. It was all good, except the frog legs. And as anyone knows, when eating an animal one also takes in part of that animal's sacred spirit. I am now tougher and more fearsome than ever before. But I still can't jump worth crap, so whatever.

2. Ordered a 26" pizza. Yes, I knew we had no chance in heck of finishing it. I didn't order it to finish it. I ordered it because it was a twenty-six frikkin' inch pizza!

1. Picked off a tick. While riding horses through the Honduran jungle I manage to pick up a tick. He was riding on my right calf. I notice him before he had chance to bite me, so no harm done. I showed it to the girls, and they freaked. Mission accomplished.

Bonus: I ruined an otherwise pretty photograph. Totally immature.


  1. You totally crack me up. I love your writing is so....well, manly. Glad you guys had a great time!

  2. That is so funny! I love that you made Alex share a bed with you and not Jess. I'm glad you guys had fun.