Monday, July 18, 2011

Be A Stay At Home Mom With Pride!!

Being a stay at home mom is viewed these days as an old fashioned practice: the more money and prestige a woman has the better, seems to be the more common view. I have felt it was worth the pay off to be home with my kids and raise them myself. There are people out there that will make you feel bad, or lesser of a person, for making that choice. Don't let them!

Aaron and I are in the midst of car shopping. Car shopping is one of the things in this world that I just hate doing: pressure and large sums of money just don't go well together. I have been reminded of an experience I had when a young, stay at home mom, while car shopping. The car dealer actually tried to make me feel bad for being a stay at home mom!

We were like most young parents just starting out - poor. We lived the first year of our parenting years in my parents basement and then finally were able to move into a moldy, dive of an apartment..... I'm sure most of you have been, or will be, there and know exactly what I am talking about.

Our car had quit working and we needed a new one. Shopping for a car when you really need one is never pleasant, because you don't have time on your hands. You can't just walk away until the perfect car comes into your life: we needed a car immediately. We were in crunching numbers on a little number, ready to drive her home, but the numbers just weren't coming up in our favor. Trying to buy a car on one income, and a humble income at that, is a difficult thing to do.

Towards the end of our visit, the dealer finally turned to me and said "The numbers just aren't coming up with your husbands income alone, so let's punch in yours and we should be good to go". I told him I didn't work because we had a son and I stayed home with him. I will never forget the next words out of that mans mouth...... "That's your problem. Why aren't you working? If you had a job we would have no problem getting you into this car"...... I kid you not! If I wouldn't have been so timid back then, and would have had the balls I have now, I would have promptly got up and walked out that door without a single glance back. As it was I felt horrible the entire rest of the day.

There are many who make women feel unimportant and unsuccessful if they stay home to raise a family. Heck, I admittedly had days where I was wondering what I was doing myself - giving up my career and most of my interests for lack of time. I am here to tell you, no to scream from the roof tops, that staying home with your kids is worth every sacrifice you make. If this is a decision you are waffling on right now because you are uncertain, let me be the nudge you need. Do it!

I will say that this is not a path that is right for everyone. I am not saying that if you are a working mother I think you are wrong. Sometimes there just isn't another choice, and I totally get that. I am saying however, that for me it was worth every sacrifice that I made and it was the right choice for me. I am saying that if you are unsure about what to do when making this choice for yourself, I encourage you greatly to stay home and be with your kids. Most importantly though, I am saying that whatever your choice, don't EVER let anyone make you feel bad for that choice: it's your choice to make and not theirs.

Do what is right for you and your family and don't ever worry about what others think about you. You will be successful in ways you can never imagine and you will be important to those who matter. Be a stay at home mom with pride!

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