Friday, August 12, 2011

Dropping My Baby Off At College Isn't Gonna Be Easy

I'm a wreck this week. I was wondering if it was the weather just really starting to bring me down, lots on the "to do" list or just being burned out. I did have an epiphany yesterday though, and I think I have nailed it down. I will be loosing my best friends soon. (tears!)

Jess and I have always been two peas in a pod. We look alike, we act alike and we like to do all of the same things: that makes doing things together easy, because we almost always want to do the same thing.

I have been joined at the hip with this little bug of mine since day one. Yes, "bug" is what I call her, always have. We are so in tune with each other that we know what each other is feeling and thinking without the other having to say a word. We have always been a silent support to each other and we each know exactly what the other needs at any given time.

Jess has never been embarrassed of me her entire life. Even when she was in Jr. High, she still thought it was fun to go out and buy matching t-shirts and walk around like twins. People always think we are sisters and she just laughs and thinks it's cool. I have always been invited to go out with her and her friends. I don't always accept, because I know it is important for her to have a life of her own outside her family, but it feels good that they like to have me along if I so choose.

I will openly admit that I have probably relied on Jess too much over the years. Don't get me wrong, I have girlfriends, and so does she. I have an extremely happy and healthy marriage and she a happy and healthy relationship with her boyfriend. We do have lives outside of each other, as it should be, but....... she is my fall guy when I really need girl time. She is the one I like to cuddle with in front of a chick flick. She is the one I love to go shopping with. She is the one that just gets me when I am having a hard time. (tears!)

These are the thoughts that have been running through my mind the last two days, the thoughts that have frustrated me because they bring tears so close to the surface. I thought I had this under control. I was gonna be the cool headed mom dropping my kid off at school. The one who wasn't a helicopter  mom. The one who wasn't freaking out over leaving my kid at the door. The one who (tears!) wasn't gonna freakin' cry!

I hope for her sake I can stand strong. That I can show nothing but excitement for her - because, believe it or not I am really excited for her. I hope I can go there, help her get her dorm all set up looking amazing, give her a big strong hug, tell her she is amazing and that she is going to have the time of her life, and leave that pillar of strength she is going to need. I really hope I can do that!
I think I can. I think I can do this. I won't cry unless..... she cries. Then I will have a super hard time dang it! 

We'll see what happens. Believe it or not, I still have 5 weeks until this day comes. I am hoping this is just a dumb little glitch and I will be over it and fine by the time the actual day gets here. I have 5 weeks to prepare and harden my heart. I will become like the Grinch. Grrrrrr. Be strong.
I will keep you posted on our progress, and how I do.


  1. Don't want to be discouraging, but remember the day your first baby went to Kindergarten? This is much worse and will take much longer to get over. I know from experience. Good Luck!!

  2. Just got a chance to read this! Oh man....I really feel for you and know exactly what you are going through! Ugh.....sending big hugs your way! It gets better, I promise!